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Ananda Daydream

[ website | Desert Songs ]
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[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

page 31 [01 Jan 2005|07:36pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

"Protect her from this animal's filthy hands. Put a cold, heavy door between us. Please, God... kill this black hunger. Protect that pure, unsullied angel... Please, God, protect her from this demon! From me!"
                            - Angel Sanctuary, vol. 1; Kaori Yuki

sketch, drawn from "Until the End of the World" on U2's Slane DVD

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 30 [30 Dec 2004|11:39pm]
[ mood | sad ]

"And does not my art show that you have brought forth wind, and that the offspring of your brain are not worth bringing up?"
             ~Plato's "Theaetetus"

my soul so shaded by his
that I can only just
   remember the colour of my eyes

preoccupation enters the room
   as wine's pleasures absolve us from thought
the hollow night spills embittered stars
   to fill the spaces as a galaxy inverted
   bright surroundings and dark stars

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 29 [30 Dec 2004|11:21pm]
[ mood | calmer ]

so many voices ebb and flow
these waves of conversation and relation
which pass over me as I remain without motion
a few unconscious ripples the only traces
    of an unremarkable drowning

cigarettes and cellphones
factory-faded jeans and sunfree tans
    and each girl's face a painter's masterwork
constrained not by walls of cement and stone
    but by rules of flesh and tones of voice
so soon silence becomes my presence
so soon the eyes are all that speak

the tones of time on pages soon-filled

shine a little brighter

page 28 [30 Dec 2004|08:42pm]
[ mood | better, at least.. ]

the eerie silence of
   a house newly woken
so long without sound
   the echoes still lay quiet

days awoken still unrested
   sunlight scarring unsettled eyes
insides twist with the reversal of night

lives flung together, entangled
   as so much lace, connecting
   and seperating in unexpected places

lines which tangle and then come clean
    a world ensnared in black and white


shine a little brighter

page 27 [22 Dec 2004|08:06pm]
[ mood | content ]

a night too lonely to lose in sleep
   for dreams hold uncertain company
   fantasy at least is sure
       ...only I do not know
       whose arms to wrap my soul within

   love I cannot give
   and love ungiven
        an unrequited nightmare

and only with music
  do I trust my soul

2 stars| shine a little brighter

pages 25-26 (late 8.2004) [22 Dec 2004|07:25pm]
[ mood | loved ]

city-glow guide me home

"are we crazy or are we sane?"
"no idea. do we care?"

     I breathe free
        nothing to hide where nothing is seen
     the release of full motion
        outrunning the air, which presses close only to chill me
     night-lit clouds hover in moon-washed scarlet
        white lights of man fading to gold in this place
     silence and small sound
        are only lost as I ride to pass the night air

               Seven miles to see him
               Seven miles to leave him

     the daring of the hour
        eyes darting brightly between the ashes of stars
     nervous and determined
        skin glows bright though the moon yet hides
     words become hesitant waves
        emotion hides behind the jester's painted eyes
     bound by water and air
        and things too strong to name

               Together shivering from cold
               Together we shiver alone

     the first shame fades again
        for no sin lies in this darkness
     skin so warm
        but shaking from the cold inside
     transfer of energy
        if not heat, baser neccessity
     colour drained away
        but no shade missing, less than desired and more than needed

               Arms I so much missed
               Arms close to me pressed

     sky unchanged
        yet beyond our eyes stars slowly turn
     limbs half-numb
        soft shadow curtains glide against us
     touches only now let free
        too late for fear, starlight dusts souls shown bare
     sound strikes the air
        the spell binding me for a moment breaks
     again I outrun the air
        heart's intoxication woven in with thread

               City-glow covers my love
               City-glow guide me home

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 24 [22 Dec 2004|07:19pm]
[ mood | cozy ]

time's varigations colour the path we walk

feathers fall as dreams
   and angels from the morning sky


shine a little brighter

page 23 [18 Dec 2004|02:04am]
[ mood | excited ]

        ...I feel so far away from you
        time spent with you is as distant as a dream
        but no matter how my heart breaks
             I still can't reach you
        my heart could break a thousand times
             and it would still cry more
             full afresh each moment with longing
        a thousand tears could fall from these tired eyes
             and still they would be too dull to see you
        and I try so hard to catch you when you stumble
             but I fall so many times myself
             my arms too weak and bruised to hold you up
        so I lie here again, alone without you
             my body shaking with its cries for you
             heartbeat faltering without yours against it
        ...I wish I were enough to hold you, my love
             but tonight my soul feels so small.....

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 22 [18 Dec 2004|01:43am]
[ mood | happy ]

bright colours soon wear away
   hues of the past brought out in children's play
freedom once granted is no longer wanted
   in the end, all hearts stumble on alone

summer afternoon painted in cinematic hue
   small things grow largest
   when your feet touch the ground
a soft soundtrack fades in with the breeze
   exhaling the fog of dreams
   to saturate the soil with the colour of flowers

beauty so strong it shatters into pain
   coloured glass broken into a thousand diamonds
   your eyes lost in myraid sparkling refractions
   your fingers torn by glistening beveled edges
       once-transparent, now shaded by man's scarlet
       only by tarnishing the innocent are the guilty saved

shine a little brighter

page 21 [17 Dec 2004|12:28am]
[ mood | thirsty ]

as the last traces
   of a lover's scent on your skin
 you cling

walls and dreams, outgrown by time
  a wing torn away; a child's refuse
fancies and daydreams born of inbred desires
  again in this place, again missing his smile
meaning lost in motion, thought abandoned for memory
  phantom playmates chasing away lovers lost
  seeking only cares no longer needed
undecided wishes, feathers left in the smallest of places
  empty spires reach, but without object
  the life I dream of lost in photographs untaken

  "and I
      want a T.V. embrace"

                             "Cigarettes Can Kill You", Ben Lee

shine a little brighter

page 20 (8.2004) [17 Dec 2004|12:22am]
[ mood | gheeeeeeeeee U2 ]

SFE Alumni Picnic, 8-12-2004
"My dad's 50 and he's not plastic!" - Kel
"I'm thinking of a gesture and it's not a toaster." - Erik
   *Daf makes up a toaster gesture* "Oh look the toast popped up!"
"You don't go to karate for 15 years for anything." - Erik
Erik's Care Bear stare

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

and despite such certain intentions
  my skin still warms against yours
forbidden blush hiding in the twilight dusk
  as the scent of you drifts
  around me, as your arms once did...
      and my skin eagerly drinks of your fragrance
      as my ears would your voice calling my name
      as my eyes can't help but gaze even now

shine a little brighter

page 19 [17 Dec 2004|12:16am]
[ mood | embarrassed ]

I'm scared to dream
   afraid you won't be there...
as long as I lie awake
   I can be sure of seeing you.....

old stone and grass newly-grown
  a child's innocent eyes run away in play
  fearing to tread where one as she lies dead
      feet light on the ground the other danced upon
      and now sleeps within
but she has no need for ghosts her eyes
dream aloud of things much brighter

I, old soul but eyes yet wide, am alone
  with these ghosts my mind reushes to find
  for my fancy, so long in light's songs
      has turned away, today to shadows

shine a little brighter

page 18 [17 Dec 2004|12:12am]
[ mood | content ]

[yes I'm back. finally. I think. finals and projects are done, so I should be back to posting again.]

so small, I lie here alone
my dreams weave your arms around me
   mixing a cocktail of memory and fantasy
   to wash clean ears bleeding from silence

         I can't live with
             or without you ~


star-cursed lovers
double-crossed by Fates
    that do not care as human hearts
    that do not know of love

shine a little brighter

tangent [03 Dec 2004|03:41pm]
I really will get back to posting things soon. Promise.

..having seen this everywhere, decided to try it, and due to my results, have now determined it just pics something random from your interests, the questions have no real actual bearing on anything. *giggles, rolls eyes*

oriental lilies are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

p.s. I've succumbed, and am using FireFox now.. my lj actually *loads* now! maybe this'll be conducive to me actually checking my friends page now and again...
shine a little brighter

[17 Nov 2004|11:11pm]
[ mood | overwhelmed ]

Just a note... apologies for the lack of updating, however, it is in fact November, and apart from my usual inundation of papers, projects, and general life angsts, it is National Novel Writing Month. And for some idiotic reason, I decided to pretend I could actually pull off writing 50,000 words of one cohesive story in a month.
My attempts are here, if you're interested in reading things that're even rougher than what gets posted here, go for it. *giggles* I like my idea, I like what I *want* the story to do... it's just not quite there yet.
And I'm, what, 20,000 words short of where I should be right now? *facepalm*

See y'all when this month's over...

shine a little brighter

page 17 [31 Oct 2004|02:24pm]
[ mood | loving and protective ]

   I stare at the pallid reflection in the spotless mirror, searching and examining with impersonal scrutiny the image before me.
   Hair dark as the shadows surrounding, face pale as the moon, its only light a mere reflection of another's. Skin flawless, smooth and without blemish, pure beauty in lines and planes painted with an artist's care. Clothing both dazzling and sumptuous, an invitation for caresses of those few worthy of close proximity.
   Not a thing amiss, even the smallest detail encapsulating in its minute aspect beauty to bring a mortal to his very knees. Perfection, darling, absolute perfection, sought (but never acheived) by all of human history; artists and poets alike have abandoned their craft in hopelessness at the sight of such as this. A mere glance, and I could have anything I might ask, such rapture my appearance brings to even the hardest heart...
   Who could love such as me?

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 16 [31 Oct 2004|02:20pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I am
  I might be

if only these wings I dreamed could fly

my silence is my safety
   I hold close these words
   and do not let them slip away into the air
      these things unsaid
      an exoskeleton
         around the tender core

 even in dreams
   where all the world falls away
you think of me.....
                        ...but only in waking dreams
                        could I give you so much

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 15 [30 Oct 2004|04:20am]
[ mood | content ]

heart overburdened, a song only half-heard
words which stumble and are trampled
  by the ceaseless torrent of ink
sounds as old as man
  are born each moment
we delight in reflections of false light
  we, who so rarely touch sunlight
"even if I had only one wing left"
  even had it been you to destroy the other
     in the past clinging to your shadow
  even then, surely...
the paradigm is there, I can see its shine
  but nothing can reach it
  instantiations fail
     each brushing slim fingers against one aspect
eyes which dart eagerly
  towards anythin but a future which must be earned

[note: lyrics quoted are from Ayumi Hamasaki's "Endless Sorrow", as translated somewhere online... romanised version of the original Japanese is something like "boku ni moshi tsubasa ga / hitotsu shika nokotte'nakute mo"]

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 14 [30 Oct 2004|03:24am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

wrists bound by love

the music climbs, emotion stretched
  a note yearns so loudly that at last
  the tension explodes
     orgasm of the heart

starlight seers scars into flesh newly-formed

a place forbidden, orphan exiled
   I cannot leave you in this place
       but neither can I take you back

details so clear that the image becomes lost

syncopated starlight
   tones solid enough to pierce your flesh

unlikely duets in uneven times

threadbare soul, all colour lost

the fibres of this page decay
   as the final notes fade from the echoes

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 13 [30 Oct 2004|03:00am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

in a life such as this
sleep does not come when called
   dreams untamed
   you cannot leash them in
free-range, free-flowing
   streams of words
   a brook babbles but does not speak
   these stars from my sky

2 stars| shine a little brighter

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