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the legible version of Ananda's notebook(s) [entries|friends|calendar]
Ananda Daydream

[ website | Desert Songs ]
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page 51 [23 Jan 2005|01:36am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

eyes which do not focus
   on the world around me
and I remain alone
   wrapping myself in sound
   to hide from the day's silence
wind blows clean these hollow spaces
   sun bleaches dry unfriendly faces





                      bleaches
                      all
                      strongest
                      sorrow
                      further
                      over
                      life
                      hear
fingerprints   fire
central          pulls
dark
ice
inverted
delayed
drifts
speak
sky
destroy
shadow




dark ice hides
    inverted secrecy of night
delayed control
    these tears shattering on reflected sky
shadow destroyed
    life burnt away on sorrow's pyre

3 stars| shine a little brighter

looseleaf stuck in notebook... [20 Jan 2005|01:12am]
[ mood | giddy ]

a sketch of something I've been meaning to draw out in full for awhile...

..if you can't read my scrawl, just as well, saves the surprise for whenever I *do* draw it. XD

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 50 [20 Jan 2005|01:02am]
[ mood | oh gheeeeeeee ]

dreams concealed on the fringes of existance
thieves of experience and graduation
    feet too eager to run
    the greater the jump, the greater the fall
            and the greatest of falls
            from trying to learn too quickly
"ambition bites the nails of success"
    and your fingers soon bleed





the rust of seasons hangs a ragged fringe
   on tired leaves of maple and chestnut
spires of man pierce the sun's painted canopy
   even echoes in time fade away

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 49 [20 Jan 2005|12:49am]
[ mood | hungry ]

the webs of your tangled dreams
   catch and strangle helpless prey
   the wings which should carry you
      torn away by razor-threads





eyes which shy from the attentions of the day
a voice falls quiet within the crowd
    the soul cries aloud
    but is not heard




breath of a lotus
this harp unstrung
   melodies unchained
   and thus unbound
life drawn out
   erased with the brush of a hand
         casual death
         a soul unmourned


sketch

1 star| shine a little brighter

page 48 [20 Jan 2005|12:44am]
[ mood | relaxed ]

"Good artists copy, great artists steal." - Picasso





revolution
    dreams per minute
  of new colours your brush gives life
    motions of change
    old motion in new form
        ideals stolen and reforged
        this cloth redyed to match your walls
catachism
    words writ and reversed
  the mirrors of your eyes refracting the world
    phrases grasped
    lyrics unleashed
        modulations beyond social range
        such keys unknown by man
            scrambling to unlock the soul
            with a thousand wrong combinations





dreams unbidden
  drown you

1 star| shine a little brighter

page 47 [18 Jan 2005|03:10am]
[ mood | still hungry ]

corners long-forgotten
    in the age of your neglect
    in this place of your regret
dreams fragmented
    pieces lost in mirage and refraction
    pieces torn away with bleeding nails

and so the soul slips away
    seeping through tears rent in faded cloth
    dripping from eyes dimmed by complacency





the warmth of stone
   the coldness of your shoulder
safety in silence
   fear in angled conversation
the peace of isolation
   uncertainty of shifting companionship
and it may be cold in the loneliness of wind
   but such is better than drowning

shine a little brighter

page 46 [18 Jan 2005|03:07am]
[ mood | cold ]

eyes I dare not meet
   a soul of my desire
   a hopeless wish in yearning glance
        in dreams alone will I hold you
        and never will you know my name
only there! a flicker - you see me!
   and how quickly do I run
   heart racing fast as thought
        fear and helplessness in my wide eyes
        to meet yours again only in longing fancy






dreams caught in the golden summer haze
cloaking your soul in warmth and safety
    if not certainty
here, your eyes find rest
here, amidst the sumptuous boudoir of fancy
    rich tones and murmurs of song
    the hue of dreams caught behind eyes near sleep

11 stars| shine a little brighter

page 45 [18 Jan 2005|03:02am]
[ mood | content ]

The sky lies flat and solid as a sheet of paper, a backdrop to the summer-green filigree of leaves and branches. Old stone and young eyes; a song germinates in the warmth of your heart, but its winding vines elude your mind and you cannot quite catch hold of it. As things foretold, your dreams drift away between your fingers, hands outstretched in search of fancies caught in the sheer sun-tinged haze between sleep and waking.




Love in a metro staircase
  caresses time once-named
Take me in
  over your soul's star

[the above created using a set of sex-magnetic poetry (a challenge to myself to make something clean out of it all *g*), the following an elaboration of it:]

Love slips from grates of a metro staircase
   seeping amidst ground much-worn
a thousand souls brush shoulders with air
   and caress time once-named
Take me in to your fluorescent embrace
   over your soul's star

8 stars| shine a little brighter

page 44 [18 Jan 2005|02:11am]
[ mood | hungry ]

"[...]love is not fashionable anymore, the poets have killed it. They wrote so much about it that nobody believed them, and I am not surprised. True love suffers, and is silent. I rememmber myself once --- But no matter now. Romance is a thing of the past."
                 -from "The Remarkable Rocket," Oscar Wilde

"Why, anybody can have common sense, provided that they have no imagination."
                 -from "The Remarkable Rocket"

"...through the window he saw the long grey fingers of the dawn clutching at the fading stars."
                 -from "The Young King"



sketch
[oddly enough, this was done around the time of the low-quality clip of the song found its way around the internet, a month or so before the single..weeks before we had any idea what the art for the album would look like... and yet something led me to use slashes. *g*]

1 star| shine a little brighter

page 43 [14 Jan 2005|02:30am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

"So we all hate Bush now, that's the cool thing to do." - someone in my philosophy class (Kristen?)



wings caught on a corner outstretched
     ensnared by the coporeal
     and turned to stone



once your feet hit the ground
     you can no longer fly



the afterglow of soul in the tones of her eyes





Soft-eyed boy drifting outside a hard-edged world
the colours in such eyes shaded in un-nameable hues
    colours from beyond his worn surroundings
                 beneath the stone of walls and streets
his voice unheard under the crowd's weave of shouts
    voice shaded by dreams and ideals
          permeated with a heart unbound
wings of spirit confined to space, extended in imagination's grace

sketch

[note: both sketch and the last poem were inspired by a brief scene in Oscar Wilde's "The Happy Prince"]

2 stars| shine a little brighter

pages 41-42 [14 Jan 2005|01:15am]
[ mood | amused by coincidence... ]

from Stargirl, Jerry Spinelli


"In that moonlit hour, I acquired a sense of the otherness of things. I liked the feeling the moonlight gave me, as if it wasn't the opposite of day, but its underside, its private side, when the fabulous purred on my snow-white sheet like some dark cat come in from the desert."

"We discovered the color of each other's eyes."

"This was the start of a period that blurs as I try to recall it. Incidents seem to cascade and merge. Events become feelings, feelings become events. Head and heart are contrary historians."

"She was the opposite of cool; she held nothing back."

"She laughed, and the desert sang."

"She was bendable light: she shone around every corner of my day."

"And there was more to her seeing than that. What she saw, she felt. Her eyes went straight to her heart."

"When a Stargirl cries, she does not shed tears, but light."

"The echo of her laughter is the second sunrise I awaken to each day, and at night I feel it is more than stars looking down on me."


~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~


and still, the heart burns in yearning
though it shies its eyes from companionship
    even in shade
    a flower reaches to the sun

20 stars| shine a little brighter

page 40 [13 Jan 2005|04:09am]
[ mood | content ]

eyes seen only from afar
meeting of souls without a touch
    fate's devices unseen
    its ever-turning wheels silent as breath
        ceaseless motion, ever unnoticed




DEAD STARS
STILL BURN
"Dead Stars", Covenent




dark stars forged of wire
time-scarred divisions,
life cries as it pours from torn flesh

rain washes away the trail of sin
but soaks it into sullied soil
stains left behind in places unseen




"wounded by fear
injured in doubt
I can lose myself
   you I can't live without"

                    "Red Hill Mining Town", U2



sketch 1 - sketch 2

4 stars| shine a little brighter

page 39 [13 Jan 2005|12:10am]
[ mood | good music makes me so happy.. ]

   darkened hair and evasive eyes
   you draw shadow closer about your thin shoulders
       soul lost and not wanting to be found







   ...one in your eyes
   angel, cry
   alone in the sign of
           ("Don't Say Goodbye", U2)

[note: these scraps of lyric are pulled from Achtung Baby outtakes, which are nearly impossible to decipher in places..]





           "You light up
              my dark night"

                                  ("Heaven and Hell", U2)




wind which carries time
   scraping hours into stone and soul

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 38 [13 Jan 2005|12:06am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

dreams so strong they bind a life
   unable now to pull away
   without losing pieces of soul
   without peeling away layers of heart
       invisible chains are ever-strongest
       for what cannot be perceived
          cannot be undone





what does it feel like when
   your head is full of song?

              "Wake Up and Take Me Down", U2





the sweet anticipation
   of a sun's rays filtering past clouds
   lifting brilliance leaking through
       a promise
       of fulfillment
            and exhaltation

4 stars| shine a little brighter

page 37 [12 Jan 2005|03:07am]
[ mood | I love this song ]

"what a drag it is, these gold lamé jeans
 is this the coolest way to get through your teens?"
                         "Teenage Lament '74", Alice Cooper





life both mirrored and altered
   by the shadows
details revealed and obscured
   where light meets darkness
ever-entangled and ever-distinct
   in this dream-tinged reality





so far away
    I see you every minute
    but my eyes still cannot
  heart's sorrow
    retunes each song to minor keys
    for in all do I find you

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 36 [12 Jan 2005|03:01am]
[ mood | relaxed ]

  reliefs brought out in sunlight
     details long-hidden in shadow
     which is pushed back into place
       to reveal all facets of an aspect
  time caught in the smallest of cracks
     age in subtle shades painted
       the infinite regress
       of faces dying in life




"recognise your age"
                   "Teenage Rampage", Sweet




seeking truths from forgotten corners
    dusted in undisturbed time and age




the surety of black and white
the strength of soul in passionate song
the ever-light of stars in full life
the yearning of notes straining higher
    a heart reaching through hands outstretched
    a soul trying to attain its unseen destination

shine a little brighter

page 35 [12 Jan 2005|02:55am]
[ mood | sore ]

water-shaped heart and eyes
    gone blind from floods of light
scars from friendly claws
    rend skin in fading crimson
colours ridiculed, eyes unregarded
    hands worn away through use and misuse
love left in rays, threadbare emotion
    false diamonds dislodge from an idle wrist
fantasies which colour the air
    and remain when touched, but not embraced






the vertigo of angels' flight
    to mortal souls without pure wings
qualified dreams shroud social grace
    body exhausted by lack of motion
the momentary infinity of summer's skies
    every second another hue shifts
burnished cheeks and darkened eyes
    what once was can never again be quite the same
mis-matched faces and names
    which disperse as fallen stars over dewed ground

7 stars| shine a little brighter

page 34 [12 Jan 2005|02:51am]
[ mood | pensive ]

every light causes shadow




sundazed eyes see only darkness
   in this place of man's creation




however bright the sun
   it never quite burns away the blue of the sky
   or the violet twilight
       wherein my soul lies
as brightly as your star may shine
   when at last its light reaches me
   the warmth has gone
       and I remain cold and alone

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 33 [01 Jan 2005|10:13pm]
[ mood | amused ]

sunlight spills rainbows over the earth
   each object a thousand prisms
   every tone saturated
       the vibrancy of life flowing within





red in stone, green in shadow
   violet hue in the horizon
   and all toned with solar gold





the contortions of a world viewed indirectly
emotions born of paint and pigment
   these dreams fed to you in sleep

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 32 [01 Jan 2005|10:02pm]
[ mood | content ]

desperation soaks the sheets in which tonight you may sleep
such fleeting, fickle dreams leave you crazed and alone
    cursing your every desire





an angel's fear shrouds the sky
   in half-hues of doubt and despair
these wings are no longer wings to fly
   weighed down by shadow-bound soul





chimes shimmer in still air
the echoes of a shooting star
   and the lines it took from the night
patterns of language known
words unrecognised from strange voices
   perfume recalled when the source has gone
mirages of sound and taste
songs half remembered and half conjured
   shards of a heart replaced in kaleidoscope fashion
   eyes bewildered by hues unnamed

shine a little brighter

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