?

Log in

No account? Create an account
the legible version of Ananda's notebook(s) [entries|friends|calendar]
Ananda Daydream

[ website | Desert Songs ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

haitus [14 Apr 2005|06:21pm]
...should've posted something here sooner, sorry about that. my printer hates me so my scanning's been sporadic, and now I've left my notebooks at home and I'm in Fredonia. x_x; haven't forgotten about things here...I'm just a spazz. -_- back when I get my hands on my notebooks again...
2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 70-72 [07 Mar 2005|06:40pm]
[ mood | drained ]

from Faust, Goethe (translation: Alice Raphael)


"What man knows not, is just what he requires;
What man knows, he cannot use in any wise."

"Alas, but to our spiritual wings
No bodily wings are granted anymore!
Yet we are born with that desire
Which drives us up and onwards to aspire,
As o'er us, lost in space of azure sky,
Warbling its song, the lark must fly [...]"

"Alas! two souls within my breast abide,
And each one from the other strives to seperate.
The one, with love and healthy lust,
The world with clutching tentacles holds fast;
The other soars with power above this dust
Into the domain of our ancestral past.
O if there be spirits here,
Between the earth and heavens holding sway,
Descend now from the golden atmosphere,
Lead me to new and varied life away!"

[evil spirits]
"They listen gladly, injure with fond intent,
Gladly obey, at cheating gladly try;
From Heaven feigning to be sent,
They lisp like angels when they lie."


"Eritis cicut Deus, scientis bonum et malum." [if anyone can translate.. ♥]

"Devils and phantoms on this law agree:
Where they steal in, they must slip out again.
Slaves of the second law, of the first we're free."

"You will be in the end just what you are!"

"Mephistopheles: By the depths of rejected love! By all the elements of Hell!
If I only knew something worse by which to swear!

Faust: What's up? What stung you? Well, well,
What a face! I've never seen one like it anywhere!

Mephistopheles: I'd go straight to the devil
If I myself were not a devil in fact!"

"Mephistopheles: Look, what varicolored flames burn bright!
Here is a club with quite a lively tone;
In little circles one is not alone."

[a peddler-witch offers her wares, old weapons of betrayal, etc.]
"Mephistopheles: Good Aunty, you're quite out of date!
What's done is past, what's past is done.
Get in a stock of novelties!
By novelties only are we won."

"A young witch: Powder, like a petticoat,
Suits gray and wrinkled faces,
So I sit naked on my goat
And show my body's graces."

"With utmost pleasure I have come,
Well pleased with all I view!
Since from the devils I foretell
The way of angels, too."

"The shooting star: Down from the heights I darted fast,
Trailing sparks and fire;
Now I lie crumpled in the grass,
Who'll help to raise me higher?"

"Mephistopheles: Once more we are at our wit's end, since we have reached the border line where human senses fail. Why do you seek our companionship if you cannot see it through? You wish to fly, yet you are not immune from dizziness? Come, come! Did we thrust ourselves upon you or you upon us?"

shine a little brighter

page 69 [07 Mar 2005|06:27pm]
[ mood | mmmmmmm... ]

[were my printer/scanner being cooperative, I could give you an idea.. but this was me being bored and trying out a different handwriting, with a song stuck in my head]


I should have known you'd bid me farewell
There's a lesson to be learned from this
    and I learned it very well
Now I know you're not the only starfish in the sea
If I never hear your name again
    it's all the same to me


          And I think it's gonna be alright
          Yeah, the worst is over now
          The morning sun is shining
              like a red rubber ball

                       "Red Rubber Ball", Cyrkle

shine a little brighter

page 68 [07 Mar 2005|06:19pm]
[ mood | okay ]

amber lies scattered over the fading ground
   precious tones born of things now dead




Mortal Angel




     And I, once an angel, am now bound to your mortal world, abandoned in the fog of Time.  And you, pretty one, you look far more an angel than I, Heaven's Light resides in the corner of your bright eyes, eagerly finding beauty in all things. My eyes only darken, and I, who should be so much more than you, cannot see what you see.

shine a little brighter

page 67 [10 Feb 2005|02:02am]
[ mood | sore ]

shadow begins to gently blend with skin
   a soft embrace
   a lover welcomed
       the sharpness of day worn away
       waves of time which smooth even diamond
nocturne of notes born before the stars




memory colours the world in its own fashion





artificial light casts the pallor of lifelessness
on a ground carefully sterilized
    your feet never touching true earth

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 66 [10 Feb 2005|01:28am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

mackie - dark yrs.:
       - Mephistopheles-like - debonair and charming and all, but with a crudeness about him.





a bridge crossing nothing
passing through the gate closing on summer
dark forms shift in grey air




sunset bound, pinned down
   into scattered dots of seperated colour





sketch

11 stars| shine a little brighter

page 64 [10 Feb 2005|12:28am]
[ mood | dizzy ]

the flickering of images unreal
names re-forged in a city unfounded
pitches undecided, wavering in strained half-tones




          the devil's flower
             drains heart's soil
          your soul only fodder
             for vines which tear down
                   your mind




deceived by fate embraced
choice unseen and so unrefuted
      until now
      in this place where at last
            your blindness falls away
            mistakes tearing from you blinders to the fire




shades of degredation
scales of desire and regret

189 stars| shine a little brighter

pages 63 and 65 [10 Feb 2005|12:20am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

     Give me your words, I beg of you, darling one, I shall perish if I cannot speak, but these phrases scatter at my every breath and I cannot reach them, though I grasp with all the longing in my ever-suffering soul. Your eyes, my soul as it should be glistens within them, your eyes that once were mine, your heart that I long ago abandoned, your soul that I should have had lies mistakenly within you, it left behind in me an abyss which nothing else can fill. Give me your words! Then at least I might tell of this seering pain, I shall have something of you, you who have stolen my existance, you who are living my life in reverse, you brighten and I fade to black... You are the one shining particle that escaped the black hole of my soul, you should not be! Not after all that I have done... You cannot be such as you are! How do you have those eyes? You, a mere human, have that which I, I! I could not gain eyes as those, perhaps I could have, if only ----- but no! I could not have had, never did I feel such as you, I was destined to fall, damned from before Creation, such is my fate, and in all my power I am yet powerless to alter it.
     And you, darling... All that I desire of you, I am unable to take. I, who seemed to know all things, am here at a loss, I am bewildered by you. So I remain, my thoughts are ever unsettled, the very core of my being disrupted and disturbed by every glance of your eyes - such small circles, yet encompassing every shade of the sky, which catches and reflects all in this world and the other.



[note: I s'pose that could be finished or not.. and yes, it's Mackie talking to Bono, though I'm sure someone else could find something else there as well, which's why I didn't specify 'til all the way down here. *g*]


sketch

shine a little brighter

page 62 [06 Feb 2005|01:50pm]
[ mood | warm and happy and content <3 ]

"I always figured, they're making fun of you, they're paying attn. to you." - Prof. Fiet

"Was that disrespectful to the table?" - Prof. Fiet, after jumping up onto it




the shadow soothes closed your once-bright eyes
words of wisdom skewed, no longer discernable
   pearls shatter as glass beneath you
   feet loathe to touch the ground





you will not fade
  and so, you burn yourself away





    ideas stolen by dreams
    emotion taken by thought
           I am left an empty vessel





a storm of hearts
exhumed from an actor's gestures
such fire scars even stars




threads of conversation lost
caught in sultry sun-laden air
    and kept from reaching one abandoned

shine a little brighter

page 61 [06 Feb 2005|01:36pm]
[ mood | snuggly and loving ]

soul drowned in song
the sun's heat only a vague perception
eyes dazzled by dreams brighter than diamonds
awkward steps taken by a soul of grace
touches saturated in heart
my name cold in absense from your lips
colours of time and colours of emotion's chords
pitches lean left and right of the world's scales
a frame curved and thus weakened
small and capable of the largest mistakes
the height from which your stars fall
galaxy's dust caught in the corners of your eyes
motion eased is easily misused
you freeze else you burn
lines which rule yet cannot bind


sketch

shine a little brighter

pages 59-60 (9.2005) [06 Feb 2005|01:24pm]
[ mood | okay ]

[corrected and completed via u2.com..definitely missed a few things when I originally transcribed these. ^^;]


Vertigo__U2

(uno, dos, tres, catorce!)
(turn it up there, captain)

Lights go down, it’s dark
the jungle is
Your head can’t rule your heart
A feeling is so much stronger than a thought
your eyes are wide
And though your soul it can’t be bought
your mind can wander

        Hello, hello (hola!)
        I’m at a place called vertigo (como está)
        It’s everything I wish I didn’t know
          except you give me somethin' I can feel (feel)

The night is full of holes as bullets
rip the sky of ink with gold they twinkle as
the boys play rock and roll, they know that
they can’t dance at least they know
I can’t stand the beats, I’m asking for the cheque
The girl with crimson nails, has Jesus round her neck
   Swinging to the music, swinging to the music
Oh oh oh oh

        Hello, hello (hola!)
        I’m at a place called vertigo (como está)
        It’s everything I wish I didn’t know
          except you give me somethin' I can feel (feel)

(Check mated)
(Oh yeah)
(Hours of fun...)

          all of this
          all of this can be yours
          all of this
          all of this can be yours
          all of this
          all of this can be yours
              just give me what I want
              and no-one gets hurt


        Hello, hello (hola!)
        We're at a place called vertigo (como está)
        Lights go down and all I know
          is that you give me somethin'
          I can feel your love teaching me how
                     your love is teaching me how
                                              how to kneel (kneel)

(yeah yeah yeah yeah...)

2 stars| shine a little brighter

looseleaf stuck in notebook... [06 Feb 2005|01:14pm]
[ mood | content ]

[the second of the two afore-mentioned Phisto stories, no more than started.. this one was also somewhat based on a drawing and a few poems I'd written.]

    Betrayer.
    You swore to me forever, forever! And I will remain here for all the time you swore I would not be alone.
    You left me alone. This sorrow which shades my entire existance, I did not think could still further grow, but it did, you tore these wounds open and spread them wide, infection was let within and the damages to my soul fester endlessly.
    This bleeding cannot be quelled, and you are not here to bind these wounds. All within me is rent into scarlet tatters, all I created around me is steeped in pain and loss.

shine a little brighter

page 58 [04 Feb 2005|05:16pm]
[ mood | cold ]

your tears fall on my sorrow-burnished skin
the place that you filled
    torn away
    ripped
        a scathing tear through my heart





carmine curls in love's soft phrases
rings of mahoghany and gold
    strands of earth made rich by rain
    and shining iridescent in sun's warmth
and you, my darling, have gone from my arms
but my eyes see the world through the veil of memory
    images of you as ghosts before me
    senses allied in deception
        only touch refusing to bring you back to me
        (though I can yet feel your warmth against me)


sketch

shine a little brighter

page 57 [04 Feb 2005|05:08pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

Falling into the hole in his soul and eyes
  painted black by the hour and her words
Phrases grow knotted and the harmonies
  collapse into dischord with the weight of conversation





two and a half dimensions
  lines fall away beneath unsteady feet
  and your words stick in flat air
      here, where no life breaches stone
      where light cannot diffuse shadow
tender wings shattered by blunt stares
  garish hues forced upon an unready world
  and so a stride falters on sand
      in such ways do lives lose meaning
      here, where dreams are shorn away
          winds of expectation which seer the place of tears

shine a little brighter

looseleaf stuck in notebook... [27 Jan 2005|11:18pm]
[ mood | better, thanks to the music... ]

[One of two Phisto-stories I begun around the same time, and do still intend to do something with. This one drew a inspiration from a drawing I did last year, Mackie alone in a long-disused room, head bent low...a drawing which was actually depicting something related to one of my earliest Mackie-stories! *laughs* Ahh, the endless cycles of ideas...]

     Rust colours the walls with the blood of time, time which scars stone and bleaches bone. The strongest of walls may fall, but still they last beyond the lives of men, though both shall turn to dust. Glory fades, its hues of scarlet, violet and gold, all gradiate with the years to a subdued continuity. All riches pass, wealth of gold and wealth of soul.
     So here we are, darling, in the ruins of our luxury, the aftermath from time's dilution of our decadence. Pleasure fades and the body numbs, beauty's casing cracking then falling away. Such change, my dear, how altered things became... Yet even now a beauty clings to the crumbling remains, our meticulous details giving way to the intricacies of cobwebs, the ornateness of moss and decay. The cracks which splay across the wood and stone as a lover's long hair, the rouge painted over skin long bereft of youth's glow.

2 stars| shine a little brighter

page 56 [27 Jan 2005|10:55pm]
[ mood | blank ]

tarnished stars and the moon
draws her curtains about her
     light dims and the shadow
     at times prevails
nature's soliloqueys yearning but not heard
by men who scream away truth
     artificial sounds to block out
     the silence killing soul
images burn away under the gaze
of disinterested eyes that cover a needing heart
     justification of social location
     where you are is what you believe


sketch

shine a little brighter

page 55 [27 Jan 2005|10:24pm]
[ mood | drained ]

the larger the heart swells with love
  ...the more of it there is to later ache






the silver formed where earth and sky meet
    spiderwebs of old glass
    amidst soliloquey of shadows
rust forms a fringe on even the living
    decay's flowing hair covering stone
    time licks the walls clean of false hues

shine a little brighter

page 54 [23 Jan 2005|02:27am]
[ mood | loving ]

the rose-gold pallor
lent these darkening streets
      artificial means
      to keep at bay natural failings
alone and unknown
eyes which see and are not seen
      heart unfettered
      and aching from its lack of chains





again surrounded
   and still scared and alone

5 stars| shine a little brighter

page 53 [23 Jan 2005|02:12am]
[ mood | good ]

"I got no home in this world
  just gravity, luck and time
I got no home in this world
  just you
  and you are not mine..."

                    "Stateless", U2




not even time can touch these eyes
a soul caught aside
ever left behind




patterns familiar
   but beyond memory's recall



"there are no colours
    in your eye"

                 "Stateless", U2

1 star| shine a little brighter

page 52 [23 Jan 2005|02:06am]
[ mood | content ]

uneasy atmosphere in
  the grayness of reluctant memory
a melancholy song
  cloaks these dark-ringed eyes
sullen bleakness
  of rain that will not come

walls unreal
  scenery unseen
a forlorn cry
  echoing from steel
wings clipped
  this cage needs no bars

windows into nothing
  eyes unmet

2 stars| shine a little brighter

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]